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Bodybuilding, Florida, life, and beyond

Does the early bird REALLY get the worm?
Maybe. It’s up for de bait.

They wanted $100 to reattach the back end of my furry costume. Sounds expensive, but that was the retail price.

If you can’t get enough of the Pacific Islands,
you can always visit Samoa.

Dinosaur popped up his head and said, “Is free will real or just an illusion?”
“Oh, great,” I thought, “a Philosoraptor.”

Alaskans feel that the kind of meat in their stew is mostly unimportant. They just don’t caribou it.

My Stephen Hawking book finally arrived. It’s about time.

I told the tall hairy guy he couldn’t possibly be Bigfoot. Yeti insisted he was.