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Errata

Mar 23

Just had it noted that I had the wrong date for the HRD LVN contest on the site. The correct date is May 18, 2019.

Also some shows were missing from the contest list because I didn’t set a venue. This has been corrected, and I’ve double-checked the shows and dates against the Florida NPC site.

Apologies to anyone affected, and as always please let me know right away if you find any errors!

My theory is that basketball announcers continue to talk all the way through the commercials, only about things that are even less relevant than when the game’s on.

“They’re taking their second timeout of the half, out of three, which leaves them with one, because subtraction is commutative.”

[[ “No it’s not. And we’re out, back in 30.” ]]

“Both teams arrived earlier on buses; not the Greyhound but the big Metroliner introduced by GMC in 1974. I don’t know if there’s actually such a thing as a Metroliner bus, because I just made that up, but I do know that GMC made vehicles in 1974. I was speaking to the coach earlier, and he told me that 24% of his team enjoyed watching “Nineteen Kids and Counting”, which ties the NCAA record set in 2014 by Western Boise Tech, during that season when the entire team wore only deck shoes on the court and suffered all those terrible ankle sprains. The team’s mascot”

[[ “Remember to inhale, Bob.” ]]

“No time. The mascot is inspired by a Lithuanian battle slogan from the 1600s. My college roommate was Lithuanian and every week his mom, who played hoops in high school, would send us these amazing pastries that she baked. The baking of grains predates Mayan civilization, and nearly 90% of players who go on to play in the NBA have eaten some form of baked grain in their lives. “

[[ “We’re back in 3… 2… ]]

“Coach has been spending this timeout trying to motivate his players, to let them know that to win this game this team is going to have to score more points than their opponents, and stop their opponents from scoring….”

Considered applying for a set construction job my friend really wanted, but I didn’t want to make a scene.

A friend asserted that anything could be used as a musical instrument. Having nothing challenging at hand, I pointed him to the cistern in the yard.

Sure enough, he grabbed the water bucket rope and twanged out a recognizable tune. “Ah,” I thought, “well played.”


Guy walked into my glass shop wanting to know if there were any uses for this new mirror he’d made.

I told him I’d look into it.


Why on earth would you let your grapes dry out in the sun like that?”

“Oh, I have my raisins.”


Store wanted to charge me a dollar apiece for balloons that didn’t even have air in them!

I thought that price was inflated.