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Category: Best of the LPB

I have invented the perfume tattoo.

Now at last I can beat some scents into people.

The Age of Aquarius is not only near, it is literal. I for one welcome our new dolphin overlords.

Ahh, end-of-term, when we are treated to the pageantry of the ivy-covered U-hauls.

There once was a poet from Daughton
Whose name has been largely forgotten
Tried to merge Limerick
With Haiku; a sad, grim trick
Now people hate him

Copyright 2013 Michael’s Bad Poetry

True fact: A cow has four stomachs, in which it can store grasses eaten for later digestion.

This is an excellent example of graze anatomy.

According to news reports, driverless cars are about to hit the marketplace!

Er, so to speak.

BY THE YEAR 2016, it was no longer economically feasible to produce any film that was not a “Spider-Man” reboot.

“In retrospect, it was completely predictable, but still no one saw it coming”, opined Dr Jergins, Professor Emeritus of Economics at Big Southern University.

“It was a perfect storm, a hockey-stick graph. The marketing cr@p from the Maguire one– you know, toys, breakfast cereal, Underoos– it hadn’t had time to filter through the normal post-big-box channels– you know, yard sales, flea markets, W@lgreens– and then the next one was out, and then there was a rumour about still another reboot, and everyone just sort of, you know, panicked.”

We have the power to stop this, but we must act soon.