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Category: Best of the LPB

I got an email from Alex Trebeck with the text,
“1, 3, 5, 7, 9”.
I thought, “What are the odds?”

Seemed my luck was improving; I was offered an albatross in exchange for some German sausages.
Then I took a tern for the wurst.

How would YOU react when you accidentally locked the kitchen delivery guy outside? Let that sink in.

Bit disappointed in the Whole Foods grand opening. All they had was doughnuts and Swiss cheese.

Guy at the fair drew a cartoon of me and my wife, but I dropped it in some oil. That was one slippery caricature.

Watching “The Ten Commercials” on ABC (with limited movie interruptions) and was inspired to pen this:

Mighty Seti, brave and tall,
He’s the Pharoahest of them all.

Tried to trick my wife into going to law school, but she wouldn’t take debate.