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Category: Ramblings[seinfeldVoice]
And what’s the deal with all these pharmaceutical commercials? They say the most terrifying things while showing you pictures that make you happy! What’s up with that?
[/seinfeldVoice]
[clip of smiling older gentleman giving away his daughter’s hand in marriage]
“Spudera has been known to cause explosive limb ejection in people with a job, car, or neck.”
[clip of same gentleman, waterskiing and smiling]
“Do not take Spudera if you have a history of high, low, or normal blood pressure.”
[clip of same gentlemen, banging drums for Rush while Neil Peart, arm in a sling, nods approvingly]
“In some instances Spudera can cause spontaneous skin ignition in children up to 106 years of age.”
[clip of same gentleman, being inaugurated King of England while simultaneously being awarded a Nobel Prize]
“Stop taking Spudera, and contact your doctor right away, if you develop a craving for human brains.”
If you learned nothing else from “Jurassic Park”, heed this dire warning: The same technology used to recreate velociraptors could be abused to clone Madonna.
Remember back when Dolly Parton was working 9 to 5, with a half-hour paid lunch… and whining about it?
If you could fix health care, unemployment, poverty, crime, ignorance, and hunger just by passing a law…
… wouldn’t people have done that years ago?