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Category: Ramblings

Presuming the Gators get invited to a bowl game next year, I think the first question to ask is, “Who’s officiating?”

The Capital One Bowl was very refreshing this year, because I knew we were going to lose and all the stress was gone. When the officials missed a blatant and obvious hold on the *very first play of the game*, one that could have resulted in two points for Florida rather than the eventual seven for Michigan, my first question was, “Who the heck is officiating this thing?”

When I heard it was the ACC, I relaxed. Game over, we lose, enjoy the show, no refunds. The ACC hasn’t been doing much right lately, and their officials’ skill in recognizing “holding” has never been a resume bullet point. The Gator jerseys must look like salt-water taffy tonight.

Oh, and there’s this new thing called “blocking in the back”? It’s bad. You’re not supposed to let teams do it.

Some of this is sour grapes, of course, and I’ve got the crud and that’s surely affecting my outlook. Yet I think there exists a fundamental issue of fairness that extends beyond a single game, or even a single sport.

The rules of a game exist for a reason: to provide a level playing field, an amount of uncertainty, to define the game itself. If one side is allowed to exploit loopholes, you’re not really playing the game.

That’s why performance-enhancing drugs in major league baseball are getting such attention. That’s why gymnasts lose major points for stepping one millimeter outside the line on the floor exercise. That’s why pinball games have TILT. Everybody has to play by the rules.

Make no mistake: Michigan was big, and strong, and fast, and talented, and certainly motivated. But then, so was Florida– maybe not as big and strong, but maybe faster and more talented. We’ll never know, because the ACC officials suppressed the TILT by failing to enforce adherence to the rules– *all* of the rules– by which I mean the old tired rant about “holding”.

(It just so happens that this particular “failure to enforce all the rules” turned out to Michigan’s advantage. I refuse to attach any more significance to the situation than an accident of topology– a failure to enforce a different subset of rules might just as easily turned the tide Florida’s way, which makes the overall situation no better.)

To reiterate the point: The rules of a game exist for a reason, and it should not be within the realm of a small group of officials to influence the outcome of a contest by applying them in an arbitrary manner. Some form of checks and balances needs to be devised in order to ensure a level playing field.


Good news, everyone!

I was quite worried that, after being on hiatus for so many months, Futurama was going to, well, suck.

Happily, they haven’t missed a beat; in fact, the time off may have given the show a fresh perspective.

I’m already dying to add a new Professor Farnsworth quote to my .sig file:

Ahhh, paradox resolved. Somebody get me a mop!

but then, the Nietzsche quote still has that new-car smell, and it’s reasonably pertinent in any case.

At a fairly threadbare restaurant chain the other day– never mind which one, but it rhymes with “Dappleby’s”– I ordered a hamburger that claimed it was made from “Black Angus” beef.

I asked the waitress if she could guarantee that all the meat in the hamburger came from the same cow, and she said of course not.

I then noted the grammatical error in the menu; that it should have said the hamburger consisted of “Black Angi” beef.

Her response to that statement illustrated exactly why I think the minimum wage in this country is way too high.

The secret to forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do, is to find something that you don’t want to do more.

“I sure need to write those Christmas cards, but you know, this carpet needs replacing.”

Compare if you will these two quotes:

“I wasn’t elected governor of the Republican Party. I was elected to represent all the people.” — Bobby Jindal, incoming Republican Louisiana governor

and

“The goal we have is to win in ’08 and that takes precedent over everything else.” — Karen Thurman, Chairman of the Florida Democratic Party

Can we begin to see the issue here?

These may not be typical examples from each party, but that’s exactly the point. Our representatives need to move their focus to what’s best for the country and for the American people, and away from what’s best for themselves and their party.

If this does not happen, our nation will find it difficult, if not not impossible, to overcome the challenges we will be facing soon.

And making it happen is all up to us.

Voting is one of the many rights we own as Americans. It must be observed, however, that for every right there is an equal and opposite responsibility. This is precise; it’s a zero-sum equation.

I urge every voter to embrace this responsibility: to educate themselves, to vote, and to vote selflessly.

(In case you were wondering, Fred Thompson/Mike Huckabee is my dream ticket for 2008.)

“Those willing to quote themselves are surely persons of taste, wisdom, and generosity.” — me

The problem with humor is that it’s not always funny.