Take a moment, if you will,
and remember that in a few days
we will be celebrating our freedom.
Not fireworks.
Not a date on the calendar.
Not a day off from work.
Our precious *freedom*.
Take a moment, if you will,
and remember that in a few days
we will be celebrating American Independence Day,
not “July 4th”.
So I was getting two more tires put on my car, which left me with some time on my hands. “Face Off” played on the waiting room television.
(My $DIETY, I’d no idea that movie was so awful. How many ways can you try to glamorize a bullet coming out of a gun?)
Given the choice of watching the movie or watching the traffic go by, I opted for the cars. That’s when I noticed that I was looking at one of the intersections in Gainesville with the “white lights”, the ones that ostensibly turn on when someone runs the red light.
Guess what? They don’t work. They don’t work at *all*. They came on randomly when the light turned red.
Often they came on when a motorist had legitimately proceeded into the intersection on yellow. Other times they came on after someone made a legal right turn on red. In some cases there was no one even at the intersection in that direction, and hadn’t been for ten, maybe fifteen seconds.
But you *know* these things are going to be used as evidence in court cases.
At some point you have to think that maybe our elected officials have become less concerned about our safety in the traffic system and more concerned about finding new ways to hand out tickets to get revenue.
Those who tend to the extreme right or left often become frustrated about lingering issues (such as, say, gun control) because they don’t see the issues as being complex.
They can’t understand why people don’t automatically agree to implement their (obvious!) solution and sometimes work very hard to try to persuade them to do so– in some cases even ignoring or supressing data that don’t happen to support their point of view, which is a no-no when trying to find a fix that actually works.
The fundamental truth that these people are missing is that if there were an obvious solution to their issue, it wouldn’t be an issue anymore. It would’ve been fixed long ago and no one would be arguing about it.
So polarists, let’s have a little healthy respect for the lingering issues. If it’s still hanging around, theres something your (obvious!) solution isn’t addressing.
Alberto arrives
Rain rain rain boom rain rain blow
Someone build an ark
On I-75 just south of Ocala lives one of the greatest signs ever:
Now while I’m no snake guru, I have enough common sense to know that snakes say “Moooo” only under the rarest of circumstances– for example, while trying to swallow a live cow.
There are versions of this sign for each state university, each with some variation of a letter and a quadranaught. It’s obviously only the unfortunate juxtaposition of the Rattler logo, the choice of the initial letter M, and the transferability of the capital O and zed that causes any confusion.
But me being me, I’d prefer to treat the sign as part of a conspiracy, rather than a prank or delicious oversight.
Steve Martin used to have a great bit, to the effect of
Wouldn’t it be great if you had a kid… and you taught him to talk wrong? He’d be there on his first day of school, and he’d raise his hand and say, “May I mambo dogface to the banana patch?”
Who know that so much groundwork had already gone into making this idea a reality? I can only imagine how the guy who thunk up this sign might implement a See-N-Say.
20″ box fan: $12
Filter material: $5
Duct tape: $2 a roll
That’s less than $20. Why do “air cleaners” go for $80 and up?
Why is poker showing up on the “Sports” page?!
What’s next, spring training?