Well, after weeks of traffic congestion, near-accidents, and apparently futile voodoo curses cast upon the lethargic contractors, my little corner of town now has sidewalks. Actual concrete slabs, to relieve the casual pedestrian from the chore of treading on that soft, comfortable grass.
Of course no one around here seems to have actually asked for them. They were simply installed, like the result of an attack by a crazed, militant Santa Claus.
But requested or not, one group already seems to be making good use of the sidewalks. There has never been a safer, cleaner, more generally pleasant time to be a hooker in this part of town. It’s like OSHA has been through. I bet they install carpeting next.
Ironically enough, the hookers didn’t pay any of the taxes that were spent to refurbish their workplace.
I can hardly wait to see what favor the DOT plans to bestow upon us next. I suspect it involves pushing us down at recess and taking our lunch money.