We were in a local big-box department store yesterday, and we saw a 9-foot plastic Christmas tree offered for–

— Are you sitting down?–

Four hundred and fifty-nine dollars.

For molded plastic.

Okay, sure, if the tree could do my Christmas shopping for me, I’d consider it. It might even be a bargain.

But no, the thing just sits there, sadly, trying to convince the world that it’s worth the ticketed price, and knowing full well that it’s not.

(Insert your favorite Mitt Romney or Hillary Clinton joke here, if desired.)