BY THE YEAR 2016, it was no longer economically feasible to produce any film that was not a “Spider-Man” reboot.
“In retrospect, it was completely predictable, but still no one saw it coming”, opined Dr Jergins, Professor Emeritus of Economics at Big Southern University.
“It was a perfect storm, a hockey-stick graph. The marketing cr@p from the Maguire one– you know, toys, breakfast cereal, Underoos– it hadn’t had time to filter through the normal post-big-box channels– you know, yard sales, flea markets, W@lgreens– and then the next one was out, and then there was a rumour about still another reboot, and everyone just sort of, you know, panicked.”
We have the power to stop this, but we must act soon.